Episode 40

Backing Yourself With Confidence

October 27th, 2021

Listen


Today we’re chatting with Andrea Westwood, a mindset and confidence coach for curvy women.
We dive into:
  • Digging deep to discover your dream life
  • Backing yourself with confidence and internal validation
  • Tapping into your self worth
  • Creating positive stories for ourselves
  • Tips for getting rid of negative self talk
  • Becoming the leaders of our life to show others how to treat us
About Andrea
Andrea is a Mindset and Confidence coach who works with women who are fat, curvy or plus-size; whose bodies don’t fit society’s notion of “ideal” to conquer their fears, negative self-talk and weight-stigma so that they can reconnect to their confidence, super-charge their self-belief and achieve their goals.
As a plus-size woman, Andrea has overcome years of weight-stigma and low self-belief to move into her full potential and achieve her career and life goals.
Andrea couples her personal experience with her nurturing and encouraging style to help her clients to do the same.
Connect with Andrea on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andreawestbrookcoaching/
Connect with Nicole on Instagram @theartisansolutions 
Nicole's website: https://theartisans.com.au/
Join the Take Control with Nicole Facebook Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/810652689407180
Join The Waitlist for the Member's Lounge here:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Episode Transcript

Nicole Smith 0:02
Welcome to take control with Nicole. As business owners, we experienced firsthand the fine line between our personal and business life. During our conversations, we will look at simple hints and tips to create time, reduce overwhelm, and help you to navigate through your journey to where you want to be. If you're looking for smarter ways to work, and create space and time freedom in your day, then you're in the right place. All right, let's go.

Hello, Hello, and thank you for joining me for this fabulous episode of take control with Nicole. Today I have the amazing Andrea Westbrook here with me. And we are going to be talking about all things confidence and mindset for women. But firstly, I would love to introduce you to Andrea. Andrea is a mindset and confidence coach who works with women who are fat, curvy, or plus size, whose bodies don't fit society's notion of ideal. Now she supports these fabulous women to conquer their fears, negative self talk and weight stigma. So they can really truly reconnect with their confidence, supercharge their self belief and achieve all of their goals. Well, hello, thanks so much for joining me here today.

Andrea Westbrook 1:23
Hi Nicole, thank you for having me.

Nicole Smith 1:26
So excited about this, this conversation though. The notions of confidence and mindset in particular for women. And you know, sometimes when we're were young women were created these beautiful stories of what maybe we cannot be we cannot achieve or cannot do. And being able to really step into those areas. As we grow when we become the fabulous women we are. It's so fabulous to have someone like you to support them on this journey. So thank you for coming. Thank you. I would love to start with you telling us all about you, and your business and your journey and everything right?

Andrea Westbrook 2:10
Well, as you said, I'm a mindset and confidence coach. And I work specifically with women who are a curvier plus size and living larger bodies to take charge of their their fears and their negative self talk. Because what I found is being in a plus size body and as as I've research and speak to my clients and other women like me, is that there are really unique mindset challenges that shape how we see ourselves in the world. And we hold ourselves back a lot and don't and can really struggle to step into our potential, which I think is such a shame. And a lot of women like me just say they feel like life is passing them by because they don't have the courage to ask for what they want or need to go for the jobs that they dream they can do or even to know find relationships and friendships that work for them. So I really help them break all of that that down where that mindset comes from. So that then we can move forward and help them set up the tools so that they can go and create the life of their dreams.

Nicole Smith 3:21
So important isn't as as well because we all deserve to live alive. Absolutely love.

Andrea Westbrook 3:27
Yeah, absolutely.

Nicole Smith 3:29
It's amazing this as I said the stories that we tell ourselves and with the the fast fashion wells I know you'd like that could even be a particular I know from my experience in my journey that you go through and I'm definitely not a on trend fashion person saying, yeah, it took me a while to actually embrace that. And you know that that is that's my style and I will find the pieces that I feel super confident in and make me feel like confident but happy and embrace it and see absolutely that's a big part of it. Isn't it really being able to lean in and be truthful to ourselves? Is that like how do you how do you do it? How do you support people through that?

Andrea Westbrook 4:23
Well, how you dress is part of it and we can work on that that if clients want to but what we really do is this really sort of three steps to the process is really getting deep and understanding well what what is the dream life they want to want to create? What are the dreams that they have, but they've not dared to say out loud? Yeah, that's what we really get into. And then we create that beautiful inspiring vision and get that down on paper for them or online however they like. And then we start to look at Okay, well what are the baby steps that they can do? Take towards bringing that vision to life. Now, it's not me telling them what steps to take. It's really asking them the powerful questions so that they can dig deep and work out, well, what are the steps that are going to work for me? And what, what's achievable for me? What do I need to do to get there. And then of course, there's going to be roadblocks and all the fears and yucky stuffs going to come up along the way. So we, I support them. And we work through that. And then as we get closer to achieving the goals, we really celebrate them. And everything they achieve, we look at how they can make the changes more sustainable, because it's a three month programme. But I want to make sure they've got the tools that can take them forward to keep doing this for the rest of their lives. So we celebrate, we make it more sustainable. And then we look at Well, how are they going to keep rewarding themselves and celebrating themselves? When they achieve their goals as they keep moving forward?

Nicole Smith 5:58
Yeah, cuz this is this is exactly the thing, isn't it? with anything in any way we support our clients? It's fabulous to be able to give them a solution right now. Yeah, ultimately, that's going to support them in the moment that they're in right now. Every day we're learning new things, aren't we? Yeah. Are they helping them discover those tools? And what fits for them very similar to what I do with my clients, like, every every individual, every person is beautifully fabulously unique. Yeah, for the same and finding out which elements a key to them, which parts are going to really help them to support them on that journey in the long term. Yeah. So good.

Andrea Westbrook 6:45
And that's the empowering part of it. I think, when they know that they can rely on themselves, and they've got those resources within themselves. That's where the real empowerment comes from.

Nicole Smith 6:56
So what brought you to this business? Like, how did you discover that this thing?

Andrea Westbrook 7:02
Well, yeah, it was a bit of a journey. And this is what I, I coach people on. I've worked in corporate HR for 20 something years, and then went through a pretty big life change about five years ago. And I started thinking with this, I don't want to do this forever. Like, I want more time freedom, I want to do something that had and I love my job. But I wanted to do something that had more purpose. And something that was really connected to the to the greater good. And I did a couple of side hustles like a learn yoga, teacher training and a couple of other things. But they weren't really right for me and I and I figured they weren't going to pay the bills. So and then I was offered the opportunity with my job to work overseas for three months. So I packed up, left my husband here with all the animals, and he could come over for a holiday. And I thought that time was such a gift to me because it really gave me well auto secret. I was living in a hotel, so I didn't have to do any housework. Pretty much all I had to do was go to work, do my thing. And then I had all of this time and space to connect back in.

Nicole Smith 8:16
Like the dream.

Andrea Westbrook 8:18
Yeah, I know everyone's dream, right?

Nicole Smith 8:20
Just two years. Two years in lockdown in Melbourne. We Oh, yeah, absolutely. I spend at home. Yeah, so yeah. Oh, yeah fabulous.

Andrea Westbrook 8:30
Yeah. I and so I was doing a lot of soul searching just really, that I'm gonna focus on doing things that are good for me. And I was reading lots of motivation and inspiration books and listening to podcasts. I'd listened to them in the shower, I'd listen to them as I walk to work. And then it's kind of like one day, I was listening to one and it was bit like someone waved a magic wand and I realised I could do this. This is exactly what I do for work. I'm coaching and mentoring people every day. And so I started reaching out to my contacts who I knew either worked in that area, or new people found a course that worked for me, and then enrolled and put it out there and it all just rolled from there. And I was really lucky in that I was able to work for an employer who was very supportive of flexible work arrangements. So I went into a part time arrangement, which allowed me to get going, and then, you know, it all came together when I was offered a redundancy. And I was like, Okay, this is perfect timing. Everything has aligned. And that was December last year. And so I've just been moving forward with it.

Nicole Smith 9:46
It's fabulous. Isn't it wonderful when the universe is listening and Oh, absolutely. I'm into alignment like the opportunity to to move overseas for three months in that space to be able to really explore Yeah, your employer to support you with flexible working, which is, you know, sometimes in the corporate space, that's just not even a theme. Is it? And yeah, you know, yeah. And I guess being in HR, you've had very much exposure to all of that. And that's been great. Oh, I love it that's so your clients and the people that you support? Do you find that they come to you with sort of similar underlying focuses? Or is there something that's Yeah, like, you'd be happy to, I mean, like, I'd love you to share that that journey.

Andrea Westbrook 10:38
What I find is when people, the common thing that when people come to me is, they're in some way, shape or form stuck, they feel really stuck in their lives and don't know, they want to move forward, they want to do something else, they're feeling quite unhappy. But they just don't know how to get out of that rut. And then, and that might look different, they might be stuck in terms of they've got no boundaries, and their friends and family just take advantage of them or in terms of their career, or it could be just in general, they feel stuck and really lost. We tap into that. And then what I really, really find is that, while that looks different, what is fairly common is people are disconnected from themselves. who they are, they don't have that belief in themselves or their worth. And that's where the work we do together really begins. Yeah, yeah.

Nicole Smith 11:34
So we look outside for external validation, don't we to, to find ourselves where to find our value, who we are as people to then move into our careers or our own choices and the way we want to move. But what I've discovered I know, especially in the last 12 months, starting in one, over 12 months now starting a business and moving into a space where I can easily look outside and ask people where I should go watch I should do or how I should be how I should go back to the dress, how you know how it should appear. Ultimately, all of the decisions, all of the feelings, all of the everything comes from internal. I found the best way of me moving through is when I've actually just paused for a moment and gone inside. Yes, this is the right decision for me. You know what? You're doing a call? Yeah. You know it. So back yourself. Yep. That's taken a journey to get there, though. I've done my thing, which I'm sure you support your clients through that confidence element of You got it? Yeah, know your stuff.

Andrea Westbrook 12:49
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And it's really helping them to tap in, you know, in your body when you know it. Yeah. And what you know, so it's helping people really like he said, it's easy to be distracted by the external and think someone else knows better for you. But your body tells you when something's right or wrong for you, and it's helping people really connect back into that.

Nicole Smith 13:13
It's a real feeling to it, isn't it? I know, everyone has lots of different senses. You know, you're on the feeling that the seeing the touching the all the things. Yeah, I know, I get that real, like, Oh, I feel that kind of squeeze when it's just not quite right. Versus the ease of what we're trying to do.

Andrea Westbrook 13:35
Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

Nicole Smith 13:38
Such a powerful experience to go through for, for you, but for your clients as well. And it must be such a rewarding thing to be able to support them to explore and delve into what's going on that's actually causing that sort of block to move through body confidence in particular. Where have you found that that moving through that particular area of focus has supported people and your client?

Andrea Westbrook 14:13
Well, I actually found a bit hard to answer that question because I actually don't help my clients so much with body confidence. Yeah. Okay. I think that confidence really comes from within, yeah, and connecting into your self self worth. And it's only once you really tap into that, then you can really feel it start to feel great about who you are. And what you look like actually starts to not even matter. Because who you are inside is so much bigger and more powerful than that.

Nicole Smith 14:50
I totally agree with you. Yeah, absolutely agree with you, and being able to just be you.

Andrea Westbrook 14:59
Yeah, absolutely Yeah, yeah, and knowing what's in your heart and your values, and you know what you're good at why people love you that that's so much bigger than and better than what you look like.

Nicole Smith 15:12
And it's a funny thing, isn't it? Because the world of like, the whole media thing of, you know, models got to be decent, that the other you know, it's quite noisy out there. And I know that, like, from my journey, I kind of shut all that off. Yeah, you know, and but it can be quite distracting. If that's where you're focusing or your energy. So supporting the way that you work with your clients, how do you kind of really focus in on the inner stuff and move them through that feeling? If that's what they're so come to you? And they're like, yeah, I can't do this, because of that, and not the other data, data data, like how do you?

Andrea Westbrook 15:58
Yeah, well, we start to do we use all sorts of tools, like we start to get them to do a little stocktake, I guess, of what their values are. What is some, and it's not always easy to, to identify your own strengths, and what you're good at and why people love you. So yeah, we do use some external tools, like where have you been given great feedback before, when someone written a really beautiful message in your birthday card? Like let's get into into this sort of stuff, and really connect that back to who you are removing the distraction of, of what you look like, compared to other people? Because a lot of the time, especially on in the media, that's false anyway, because they've been photoshopped and filtered. And so you're comparing himself to something that's potentially not even real. So let's just start to shut that down and focus on Well, what are the tangible things that tell us who you are?

Nicole Smith 16:58
And isn't like, like language is something that I've been leaning into a lot over the last 12 months, and how powerful it is, on both sides of, you know, the focus in a positive light versus a not so positive light. And, and we naturally, unless we're educated and we learn from someone like yourself to reconnect with those things that are serving us, in the past, we've naturally gone to the focus on the bits that we don't want that negative that get that maybe not so lovely comment or that bad review, or someone that hasn't liked our picture that way wanting them to do you know what it like those minor things? You know, is that something that you focus on with your your clients? Like really looking at that the positive side and really identifying?

Andrea Westbrook 17:51
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I think you've hit the nail on the head language is so powerful. And I've something I've been working on too. And I'll just for listeners, like a really easy example is it's really common for people to say, we're busy. We're busy all my weeks being so busy, but I've changed it to now, all my week was really full. Yeah, I'm much more empowering to say it like that. Why? And yeah, so But, but that's just an example. But absolutely, yes. What I try and work with my clients on is, well, what if someone has said, if your boss has given you in your review 10 really great pieces of feedback. And one that wasn't so great, I can guarantee you're going to focus on the one that wasn't so great and might not even have been bad, like they and they've kind of got to say something for you to improve on like that

Nicole Smith 18:47
Constructive feedback, it will be called constructive criticism at some point, I'm sure but I always looked at it. Like, I love those bits. I haven't you have to continuously improving we all are every day learn new things. So but it is you right? It's about how we take that sentence? Yes. And what do we take from that? Remove the personal. Yeah, ultimately, as you would know, in HR reviews shouldn't necessarily be about the person it's about the work and how the actions are being completed and to identify needs for training and improvement to support your team to go to that next level. What as a business owner, if you've got a team out there, what is the business owner can I do to support you to be successful in where you need to be where you're heading where you're going? So yeah, that one sentence, let's flip it and not?

Andrea Westbrook 19:54
Absolutely, yeah. I love that you reverse to you know, Some of these reviews are structured in a way that you have to say something negative. So they pull the silliest thing out of the box. So yeah, it's fine to really look at things in perspective. Where is the evidence that the negative things you're telling yourself? It's true? Because chances are, it's only true in your head? Yeah. And then how can we break that down and change that thought into the opposite? or How can you tell yourself you're not going to accept that that thought is true? So we really get into that and go through examples and steps, I think where the real power and shift starts to happen.

Nicole Smith 20:43
Isn't it amazing the stories that we can really create for ourselves?

Andrea Westbrook 20:46
Yeah, yep. Absolutely.

Nicole Smith 20:49
And how they're so real because they are guests you know where we are beautifully creative often Arielle bring up there. We go into these, like, I just think about, and there's still something I'm where I work through each and every time I've got this particular person that I speak with, and I see him in this really high regard, right? Yeah. I always feel in my head that I'm going to get caught out. By some Yeah, okay. Yeah. Y'all know me, everyone's Yeah, I know. I know. Deep down Really? Yeah. That is not a thing. That is my head playing the games, the confidence that all the things up there, where he sees me in this light here, and I'm kind of seeing me from somewhere else. Whereas the conversations the days that I go into those conversations, and I see myself on the same level and the same playing field, they had the best conversations. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Deep confidence in them that I know my stuff. Like, yeah, they're in my world, because they want me in there. Well, no, it doesn't you have a choice you surround yourself with and who you work with and who you support. Like you're in your team? Yeah. So like, so pair?

Andrea Westbrook 22:05
Yeah. And they might be the expert in in their field, but they see you as the expert in your field. That's why they're spending time with you and want ask these questions and want work from you. So yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Nicole Smith 22:20
That is, and that is key. Wherever industry, if you own a business, if you're employed, wherever you are, in a friendship, even, you know, family, family dynamics. Yeah. Like, we all have such beautiful value to bring. And we've got our own areas of specialisation and passions and love and voicings. Yeah. And how fabulous we do because what a boring world it would be if we were all the same. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Just interrupting this episode for one little message. If you have been listening and love what you hear and want to come in Connect, we have a take control with the call Facebook community, right over there on Facebook, that I would love to invite you to come and join us. We are a supportive community, we are looking to really take action in our businesses and change the way or evolve the way we're working right now. So I invite you to hop on over and join our community and connect with us of community is the essence of everything in business, being able to really build those relationships that you can nurture and grow and support and celebrate each other are how fabulous, I hope to see you over there. pop on over to Facebook, take control with Nicole See you soon. Oh my goodness. So that kind of takes us into the whole negative self talk thing we've kind of touched on it but people that do or women who do special specialised focusing on that is there some tips or some particular areas that you help them to move through and I know we've briefly touched on.

Andrea Westbrook 24:10
I do have a three step process that I love three step processes because of a three step things nice and simple and easy to understand. So my first tip to working through you know, negative self talk or your inner critic is just to identify it. To start when it starts to come up when it starts telling you you're not good enough or you're too fat to do that, or no one's going to talk to you Well, over exaggerating your mistakes. Just take a moment go up. Okay, that's my inner critic. That's just that's my negative self talk. Okay, that's it. I've identified it.

Nicole Smith 24:44
Do you give her a name or human name? Are they a name?

Andrea Westbrook 24:47
Well, have you I do my clients to as well love it is mine. Mine is Gertrude.

Nicole Smith 24:54
I love that. Yeah. Amazing.

Andrea Westbrook 24:58
And what I achieved encourage people to choose a name that's funny or mean something to them. Because if they smile, it actually disconnects the thought there's a function that happens in your brain that actually disconnects the thought. And this it starts to disempower it.

Nicole Smith 25:16
Yeah. Do you say you give you utilise a lot more resources, focusing on the negative or being angry or being upset than it does to be happy? And on the other side of that, is that what you?

Andrea Westbrook 25:34
I haven't looked into that, that deeply. But yeah, I have heard that too. From my own experience. Yeah, it's so much easier when you're in a positive minds mind frame than when you're letting that negative self talk. Roll the show.

Nicole Smith 25:50
Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. So once we've given her name, I'm loving. Yeah, no. name for mine. That's gonna be my homework. I think. everyone listening.

Andrea Westbrook 26:01
Yeah, have a good one. Um, the lady I spoke to the other day, she's calling her his Voldemort. Like,

Nicole Smith 26:09
We just rewatched all the Harry Potter series.

Andrea Westbrook 26:13
Yeah, choose anything. Really. I've heard some other people. Someone's pick the character out of Bluey like, yeah. Yeah, it's, you can have a bit of fun with it. Yeah. So once you've identified it, and give it a nickname, I really encourage people to be a scientist, and just tell or a psychologist that they can take a moment and observe from an external point of view. Wow, what's going on here? This is sound like someone I know. I've told myself this is that our broken record? When did I start telling myself this? And then asked question, where's the evidence that this is true? Especially if you're trying something new, like just a lot of people trying stand up paddleboarding at the moment? So saying that as well?

Nicole Smith 27:04
Yeah, like I get it, because you're obviously in Brizzy. And so you know whether, yeah, but even open? Like I've seen the blackout inflatable one yet. Yeah.

Andrea Westbrook 27:15
You know, when, when if you haven't done it before, you've got no evidence that you can't do it. So yeah, just check back around that. And by stepping back and observing your inner critic can really make it feel less intense. And it can separate from your sense of you.

Nicole Smith 27:33
Yeah. You've been curious, aren't you? Yeah.

Andrea Westbrook 27:37
Isn't that interesting that I think that Yeah. Where's that? Where's the evidence of that worst thought come from like, and really just start to probe around that.

Nicole Smith 27:46
I'm just thinking now of stand up paddleboarding? Because it's funny, because I've done that myself. I'm like, Oh, I don't think I could do that. Like, I don't think I can do that. And then I think Well, actually, I used to surf when I was a child and I roller skated. So balance is, like, good at balancing. And that board is like, if there's some stability in that boat.

Andrea Westbrook 28:12
Yeah, it's wide and long and yeah, yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

Nicole Smith 28:17
Totally getting out there in like, knocking those things out, looking at the right word, but like, moving those things from current to hard in that not possible basket to actually,

Andrea Westbrook 28:33
maybe I can, maybe I can. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

Nicole Smith 28:38
Yeah. Watch this space.

Andrea Westbrook 28:40
Awesome. I'm getting I was seeing the code stand up paddleboarding.

Nicole Smith 28:45
Oh, nice.

Andrea Westbrook 28:47
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Calm waters. Yeah. Yeah. Third thing, which I think really is, the key is, is what we were just talking about is, is telling yourself, I'm not going to accept set that thought, I'm not going to accept that that's true. There's no evidence to support this. I'm going to change this thought, and I'm going to tell myself, I'm going to give it a go. Doesn't matter if I'm not perfect, straight away. It will be fun, I'll have a laugh any anything, it'd be a good story to tell you that like, and then all of a sudden, a little bit like magic. You can feel like you can really start to do those things. And those negative thoughts have gone away.

Nicole Smith 29:32
I am all about that. I'm all about taking action, as you probably seen in my life. You know, many I've had many people come and say how do you do the story thing on Instagram, like you're always on there and doing the things? And I said, Well, you know, when I started, I was nervous. I would edit I would record many times and I come from a background of performance and singing so it shouldn't be a thing right? Absolutely. But I just called bs on myself. And I'm like, you are going to do this. We're going to do this. We can do this. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. No, I can see. So yeah.

Andrea Westbrook 30:12
And people don't want polish and perfection anymore. Like a few fluff ups and anything like that, because it shows you human and relatable. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I agree. It's just Yeah, don't wait to be perfect for those sorts of things.

Nicole Smith 30:29
And it's so I think I know, many people call themselves a recovering perfectionist, and I'm probably I sit in that boat as well. Like, I remember I still do a cat on occasion, the self editing. Before I talk, I'll be having a conversation. And I'll be like, thinking in the background about the words and what I'm saying. And should I say them? And yeah, what impact do they have? And all of that sort of? Yeah, yeah. I guess the podcast is actually a great way of taking action to move through that because we're recording live. So yeah, we were in person, now we're recording. So whatever comes out comes out. And honestly, that's the immediate thoughts and feelings, isn't it that's going through and letting those out? Yeah, whatever it might be. And then we can calibrate that we can look at what we've said and learn from the things as well find those things that work for us find the things that may not work for us, or may not serve us and just continue to evolve and move through. where we're going. Yeah,

Andrea Westbrook 31:37
Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Nicole Smith 31:38
So powerful is Yeah, it is. Yeah. And how wonderful when you actually discover who you are, and yeah, into it, and just wear headbands. Every day. We write code. That before, it takes me back to, you know, mid through last year when I was COVID. Just started Yes, I you know, had was just about to onboard or continue with a big project with a client and then everything came to a standstill. And I was really having to kind of take check again, it's like, do I want to do my business is that a theme is a bla bla bla. And I had this imagination in my head that it had to be a certain way. No, I had to have my website a certain way in my in that a certain way. And I had a conversation with Allie, actually from she mentors. And we had an hour together where both Andrew and I are both in the she mentors community is how we connected. And we're talking about my website was about to go live. And I was talking about imagery. And I just had a photo shoot. And that image that everyone now knows with my hands like this tie, yeah, that was never intended for the website that was just just happened. And an alley was like, that's what you need to use. That's Unicode. That's like, you got the fun nurse and the you know, all that stuff. Gosh, I was not gonna put anything like that on the website. I just like did and i think that that conversation and I stepped into it. And I allowed myself to be full sparkle nails, bright headbands, like earrings. I felt so much more confident.

Andrea Westbrook 33:17
Yeah, absolutely amazing feeling.

Nicole Smith 33:20
And you support your clients to discover that. Yeah.

Andrea Westbrook 33:24
Yeah, absolutely. Because when you're being your best version of yourself, and living in your honesty, then the people that are going to respond to that will gravitate towards you and the people who don't, they'll move away. Yeah, yeah. And that's the power. So then it's like this ripple effect, or almost like a cycle where you bring it to them, they bring it to you, and it just keeps bouncing back and forth.

Nicole Smith 33:53
I was having a conversation this morning, around the world of boundaries, and how actually looking at it from a different light. It was actually with Kathy Kathy Rass. Oh, yeah. You know, Kathy, yeah. My language strategist, my language linguistgiologists. And we're talking about using the word behaviours, instead of boundaries and how I can really educating people I'm going through something at the moment, I'm trying to educate a close family member on how I communicate now. Yeah, that's about learning those behave those new behaviours of how we do things. Yeah. And I'm just still playing that stone. Yeah. I really liked that concept of and I can see how it would be what you're how you're supporting your clients. When they become aware. We're now educating those closest to us, has we live and breathe and work and play and the language that we love to surround ourselves with, and so it really is that edge. cation paste that awareness that the behaviours of how we are now.

Andrea Westbrook 35:04
And what it makes me think of Nicole, is we become need to become the leaders of our lives. And so in it through our behaviour, how we want other people to treat us, yeah, this is how we're going to treat you. And we want you to treat us the same way. When I learned that concept of being the leader of your own life, that really changed a lot for me. And yeah, absolutely share it with my clients, too. A lot of the time we let in life, we just let things happen to us. And we go with the flow, we respond. Yeah, and we're not really in control. And I think that's where that feeling of lost and being stuck and frustrated comes from. But when you're in control, and you're like, Okay, I'm the only one that can lead my life. I can respond to that how I want to him, or I can see that situation unfolding. I can take action or I can step away. That's when you really get that true sense of self empowerment.

Nicole Smith 36:02
That is sorry, true. Again, conversation I just had this morning. Yeah, we're coming out of lockdown on Yeah. And that can mean a whole lot of things like yeah, you know, Sebastian started back at school. Charlotte's going to be starting to go back to daycare, and the world opening up. But yeah, ultimately, it's about what how do I feel about that? How do I want to come back out into the world or glitz and glamour and fun and funny laughter. But it's honestly about what is good for me. How do I feel about it? Am I saying yes to people? Because I feel that that's what they want me to say yes. is what I actually want to be doing. Yeah. So yeah, it's really powerful when you realise that and it's okay. To say that, like, no, it's okay to say no, but it's okay to say, that is not how I like to communicate anymore. This is how this is the language that we like to use. And this is how I see myself. So blob, whatever it might be.

Andrea Westbrook 37:07
Yeah. Yeah. And I love that you're giving that thought to how you're going to come out of lockdown. Because to be really easy to go, yeah, party, Let's have a party in the street. But then, a few days later, potentially, your energy is going to be really drained. And yeah, working out what is best for you.

Nicole Smith 37:29
That is it. You know, we've been we've been in locking for a while and we've custom to this way of being Yeah, now about discovering what it is on the other side. Yeah. sounds really weird, really. But ultimately, it's the new we have never experienced this next stage before. Yeah, it's brand new for us all. Yeah. Well, so yeah. Awareness comes down to awareness, doesn't it? Absolutely. Is there anything else you'd like to share with us?

Andrea Westbrook 38:00
No, I think I've covered

Nicole Smith 38:02
Yeah, I love it. It's so good. And it's so important to be able to really stop and take check of where we are now. And what are those blocks that are, you know, stopping us from being able to be our fabulous So, yes, so So okay. So okay, so good. Now we're gonna do our three questions every episode. We have three questions. Fellow exploring, sorry, are you ready?

Andrea Westbrook 38:34
Yes, I am.

Nicole Smith 38:36
Right okay. The first one What is your go to app that creates ease in your day?

Andrea Westbrook 38:43
Well, I know a lot of people say their calendar and that that is true for me too. But more recently I have to say my timer so I'd heard you on a couple of she mentors cause talk about Pomodoro Technique and so I have been given it a go so what I actually do is put my phone in another room so that's not a distraction and then I just use the timer on my laptop and off I go and I have found that has really created a lot more time and ease in my day because I haven't got the phone distraction distraction it's just that focus work and focus break time has been amazing so love that thank you/

Nicole Smith 39:26
Oh my pleasure

Andrea Westbrook 39:28
I bought myself a little like a little kitchen timer. It's still coming so that I can Yeah, keep the timer in another room as well.

Nicole Smith 39:38
Yeah, that's so that's I love that. Thanks for sharing that. Yeah. pomodoro and being able to those focused action time, I know when I when I do I don't do it consistently all day, but when I do yeah, it's amazing what you can achieve.

Andrea Westbrook 39:55
Yeah, yeah, close. I redid my website in a few days just using that technique in the mornings, yesterday morning's a website pomodoro. And it was amazing. Yeah, sorry. Good.

Nicole Smith 40:08
I will thank you. Yes. Yeah. sharing it. My pleasure. I'm glad you love it. The good thing as well is that you can adapt it so like pomodoro Yes, it's the 25 you know, buy for with them and in between, but if you're finding that you need that you're finding the 25 minutes is just not long enough. Yeah. and adapt it to whatever fits for you. That's fabulous about it. Yeah. If you feel like you might need a longer like 40 minute for instance. Yeah, you know, you're gonna deep dive. Just adapt it like every time that's cool. Yeah, yeah. Oh, awesome. Yeah. So are you an online or paper to do list level or somewhere in between?

Andrea Westbrook 40:52
So all my long term to do lists yet I like him one note, and I use Asana for project type work. But my daily day to day stuff is I use a paper yet paper plan I use a local business on the Sunshine Coast girl Friday. She does great notepads and planners.

Nicole Smith 41:15
I heard of her, I didn't realise that she was on the Sunshine Coast.

Andrea Westbrook 41:17
Yes, she is. Yeah. Yeah. Lovely. See, ya know that that's my go to.

Nicole Smith 41:23
That's so good. I love that combination as well. And OneNote is one of my favourite tools, even though I'm no good. Super click up fan. I actually still have one night for some of my my personal stuff. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I just love it.

Andrea Westbrook 41:38
It's great for brain dumps and things like that.

Nicole Smith 41:41
Yeah, it's really, really good. Yeah, um, okay. So what would you do if you created more space in your world?

Andrea Westbrook 41:49
Well, what I really love to do with more space in my world is, and if we could, when we can travel, yeah, I really want to go and live in Greece for six months of the year. My dream, I have the business ticking over. And I would also love to start a charity focused on educating girls and women in impoverished countries. Beautiful. That's something I'm really passionate about. And I think when you get education and money into the hands of women, that's when good, great things start to happen. And we'll really changed the world.

Nicole Smith 42:26
So true, isn't it? Both of those are beautiful, and I can see that it's going to happen. Yeah.

Andrea Westbrook 42:32
Right now when I've got more space, and I love reading, and I'm really tapping back into my love for reading and learning. So my husband I we've been learning Greek, so every Monday night, we go to great school. So that's been really great to do just for fun.

Nicole Smith 42:52
Fun is education learning, though, like Yeah, yeah. And it's something new. It's funny, I, I learned a Japanese in school, but I would love to learn another language. It was funny, my say, my husband's from the UK. And we went on a trip one time over to France, and we pulled up to the border control bed, and he starts speaking French, like I had no idea at this point in our relationship. And it was just like, French talk French talk. Yeah. And I'm just like, wow, like that is so powerful, especially if you're going to go and live over there to be able to have that language at the tip of your tongue. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, be maybe jealous watching those fires come through, I'm sure. Yeah, thank you so much for joining me today. So it's been so good. Thank you, Nicole. Lovely kind of meditation. Yeah, where can we find you? Where are you?

Andrea Westbrook 43:49
Well, I'm, I hang out on socials too much. But I'm on Instagram, Andrea Westbrook coaching. I'm on LinkedIn at Andrea Westbrook and Facebook. I'm Andrew Westbrook coaching as well.

Nicole Smith 44:04
Fabulous. And we're gonna pop all those details in the show notes as well. So I encourage you all to pop on over into the socials wherever you hang out the milestone net. So hello. All right. Wonderful. Thank you so much again for coming on board tody.

Andrea Westbrook 44:22
Thank you for having me. Wonderful. All right.

Nicole Smith 44:25
Well, to everybody who's listening, I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day and enjoy creating space and time freedom by now. Well, there we go. Thank you so much for joining me today. It's been such a pleasure having you on board. Have we connected on social shares? If not, please come on over Say hi, I'm on all the platforms at the artisan solution. So I'd really look forward to seeing you over there. And if you enjoy today's episode, don't forget to tag me and I would love it if you could leave a review and of course share this with us. so others can come and join us next time. All right, then everyone have a fabulous rest of the week and until next time, see you then


Partners

GigSuper is a superannuation fund built on the simple philosophy that you shouldn’t need to be a finance expert to do super properly when you’re self-employed. They understand that super is a reflection of how well you do in your business. So they have a holistic approach to business and finance – giving you business-building resources – to make the most of every step on your self-employed journey. Find out more about my/our partnership with GigSuper HERE.